Acquiring humor is like playing an “inner game”.
It might disappoint you… But you can’t acquire humor as fast as you can acquire a toy. There is no magic button to push to make you humorous. How funny you behave is determined by how funny you think. Do you think it is possible for a guy who talks to himself in the most grave and serious tone to be humorous in front of others?
In order to be truly humorous you need to develop a playful mind, because what goes through in your mind has a direct impact on how you view this world (also know as “internal representation”) which in turn affects your words, tones, movements, facial expressions, etc.
You won’t become super funny overnight. Just like everybody else you have to go through the process of gradually becoming more and more humorous each day.
One step at a time. Each step needn’t be big, but make sure you keep on advancing with faith. Just one step, however small, will do.
And you need to loosen up. If you don’t, even if you succeed in forcing yourself to be “funny”, chances are you’ll appear unnatural. One good way to release tension is to learn how to control breathing patterns. Have you wondered why Yoga and Tai Chi place so much emphasis on breathing and even Special Forces are trained in that? Because breathing has an enormous impact on your state of mind. Practicing breathing (again, it’s not silly) whenever you can will effectively improve your ability to take control of yourself in various situations. Soon you won’t feel the butterflies in your stomach when trying desperately to cook up something funny to say.
Even after acquiring all the tricks and techniques I’ll reveal in the rest of the book, you might still get nervous when trying to attract women with humor initially. It can happen on a subconscious level as you’re not accustomed to the identity of a totally funny guy yet. You must repeatedly encourage yourself and use the power of autosuggestion.
Autosuggestion is a process in which you train your subconscious mind to believe something, or systematically schematizes your own mental associations, usually for a given purpose.
It is usually achieved by convincing yourself though words and mental pictures, or visualization of what you would like to believe.
Autosuggestion is most commonly accomplished by presenting your own mind with repetitive thoughts (negative or positive), until those thoughts become internalized.
Autosuggestion aims to transmute thoughts into beliefs, and even into actualities. Visualizing the manifestations of a belief, verbally affirming it, and thinking about it using one’s “internal voice”, are typical means of influencing one’s mind via repetitive autosuggestion.
It is a central concept in the legendary book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.
Autosuggestion is normally thought of as a deliberate tool, but it can also refer to an unintentional process. So tell yourself right now, that you can soon be a master at making women laugh. Visualize how you can do that. Imagine a few situations where you can make the women you like laughing their heads off.
Call them fantasies. But don’t question the validity or correctness of what you do. Only ask about its usefulness.
In addition, you need to tell yourself that you genuinely want to make women laugh. If you aren’t genuinely interested in making women laugh or not convinced that you can, you probably won’t.
Set a few goals in this area for yourself and write them down.
There is a world of difference between murmuring silently to yourself and putting your words down on paper. When you write your goals down, you are making a commitment. Now say them out loud to yourself. (If there are other people around and you are not comfortable doing it now, make sure you do that later when you’re alone.)
For example, say the following out loud, “I commit to devoting at least 3 months to the science of making women laugh. I will abide by the rules and participate 100%. I will be confident, positive at all times, no matter what happens.”
Print it out if you want, and repeat the statement 3 times each day for a week until it is internalized—that is—until you firmly believe it and it becomes a part of you. Remember, the subconscious mind is an intriguing and wonderful gift that humans have.
Once after you wake up, once during the day, and once before you sleep. This activity will take you no more than 2 minutes per day but will definitely deliver extraordinary results.
A correct mindset is the key to making women laugh.
A correct mindset will always carry you along even if you lack the skills. When you are with a woman (especially a pretty one), monitor your state of mind closely.
You shouldn’t be worrying about whether you are attractive enough to her, how you measure up to other guys or whether what you’re about to say is funny to her at all.
Instead you should maintain a mindset of a funny talk show host (if you aren’t sure what I mean, just watch a few such shows and model the hosts). You should be the one in control whereas she is just a guest. When you’re equipped with such extraordinary mindset, you don’t have to worry about any unpleasant consequences and everything will seem to “go as planned”.
She is in your show.
Ironically, although humor is one of the top criteria women use to choose lovers or husbands, trying to be funny all the time is a top killer of relationship.
No doubt humor is a main ingredient of the love potion, but it takes other things to hold relationship together. Women also need the feeling of peaceful romance, the feeling of safety, and the feeling of understanding while being understood. I call those “quiet happiness”, an indispensable element of love. Remember I said humor is not everything?
Pay attention to what’s going on. Are you making her feel that you are more of an entertainer than a lover? Where is the sexual tension? Are you abusing the power of humor?
You can usually tell simply by observing her body language closely. We’ll talk about this later.