Surprise Her

When women are pleasantly surprised they laugh. Many times we laugh to cover up our embarrassment because we “got it wrong”. (By the way, subconsciously we don’t expect ourselves to “get it right” in the first place… or where is the entertainment value? And that’s something you should take advantage of.)

I’ve mentioned before an element for laughter called “surprise”. Here we will discuss it in detail.

Every “surprise joke” you tell a woman is a short story. But don’t tell a story for telling’s sake. Whatever story or lines you use, your objective is to set her up (make her arrive at a false conclusion) before revealing the “correct answer”.

It works because her brain cannot accommodate both ideas (her own conclusion and what you reveal to her) at the same time. She has to laugh to release the psychological tension.

Humor columnist Dave Barry is a master at reverse. Just read his old columns and you’ll notice that reverse is his typical way of starting a piece of humor writing, which never failed to grab the readers’ attention and set the mood for laughter.

Direct her to the wrong ideas very naturally before telling her something totally against her assumptions. The keyword here is “assumptions”.

Playing on her assumptions is a simple 3-step process:

  1. Identify the typical implication of anything you’re about to tell her. It’s only natural to take things for granted, but if you ask hard enough, you can derive new meanings from almost anything. This step explores opportunities to mislead her.
  2. Send her thoughts to the wrong direction using conventional words or phrases. This is called “tacit agreement”.
  3. “Reveal the truth”. Say something that fits perfectly into what you stated in step 2 but she never expected.

Linguistic Trick

You can use the “loopholes” of the language to trick her into thinking in a particular way. For example, tell her:

“I have a brother in Harvard Med School.”

As soon as she hears this, what kind of a mental picture have you created in her mind? Probably a scholarly figure… smart, a bit nerdy, wearing a pair of glasses, and maybe a lab coat.

She might then ask:

“What is he studying?”

It’s all natural—based on conventional interpretation of the sentence you’ve just said to her. However, you merely said “in” Harvard, right? The English language has tricked her, because your next sentence would be:

“Nothing, they are studying him.”

Every word is logical and consistent with available information. And it effectively contradicted her original perception.


Often you can tell if someone is about to express an opposite view of what he or she has just said. For example, if your girlfriend suddenly starts to tell you that you’re a nice guy… you know something bad is coming up.

We frequently imply what we’re about to say with certain words and tonality. When you say, “I used to think…” It implies you don’t think that way any more… Get my point?

And that’s an assumption you can take advantage of. Tell her something like:

“When I was young, I thought that money was the most important thing in life. Now that I’m old—I know it is.”

“When I was younger, I thought that pretty girls like you all have bad manners. Now that I’m old—I know it’s true.”

“I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic.”


It is possible to tell a woman two seemingly contradicting things and still make sense. The contradiction is funny because it is also logical.

That creates conflict in her mind and she has to laugh. For example, when you two are talking about a common interest (book, movie, album, etc.) say something like:

“This is a great book/movie/CD that I’d definitely want to add to my library/collection. Some day I may even read/watch/listen to it.”

Or tell her a funny and surprising story. Here’s one I especially like:

“I was almost killed by three thugs last night. But Peter saved my life. He came and said, ‘Okay boys, that’s enough!’”

Predict Her Expectation

In situations where you can predict her expectation, surprise her by saying something that’s totally against her expectation.

For example, when your date has come to an end, ask her if she had had a good time. She’d of course say yes and expect you say something along that line. But instead you can say, “Well, we’ll put an end to that.” (And smile.)

The trick here is to take advantage of social conventions. Socially acceptable behaviors are always predictable. For example, if you tell a woman:

“My girlfriend just ran away with my best friend.”

What else can she say except, “Oh I’m so sorry to hear that.”

And then it’s time to say in a frustrated tone, “God knows how much I miss my friend!”