When sex is combined with humor, it is rarely offensive. So don’t be afraid to talk about it—in fact, you should talk about it. That’s where you want to end up, isn’t it? But you should never switch to a sex-related topic abruptly.
A common mistake many men make is being too cautious as they start talking to women. They stay far away from sexual topic but later on get impatient with all the “nice talk”. And then they rush into it. No wonder things don’t work out.
Instead, you should gradually increase the sexual tension between the two of you, so that the entire process of “sexual escalation” feels perfectly natural to her.
So how do you broach the subject of sex? Just joke about it. For example, you can tell her straight away how you feel about sex:
“I think sex is still absolutely sensational to me, especially in the winter.”
Moderately “shock her” while at the same time testing her limits at sexual jokes. You can get a good clue from her body language. (Interestingly, women become very incapable of controlling body language when it comes to sex.) Pay attention to the muscle tension of her chin and whether her limbs are stiff.
If her reaction is negative, stop immediately, because neither humor nor sex can be forced.
Certain self-deprecating sexual jokes can be helpful and less “offensive”. For example (this one utilizes “the rule of 3” and the power of words):
My ex-girlfriend walked into my room the other night and told me to take off her blouse.
Then she told me to take off her skirt.
Then she told me never to wear her clothes again.
A common technique is called transposition. It means using a “buffer word” to substitute certain “improper terms” to reduce the possibility of offending a woman. There are as many euphemisms for hardcore terms as there are for a penis. For example, Robert Wohl once said, “I call mine by its God-given name—Vesuvius”.
There are also certain words with strong sexual connotation, such as:
blow, suck, coming, swallow, screw, finger, feel…
Those words provide you with a great many opportunities to use sexual innuendos. Of course, you have to make sure the timing is right and the words do fit in the conversation, otherwise it’ll feel awkward and work against you.
When the two of you “progress further” and her mind is already tuned to a highly sexual mode, start flirting with her more explicitly. For example:
You: “Have I shown you my magic watch?”
She: “No, what does it do?”
You: “It tells me you are not wearing any underwear.”
She: “Well it must be broken because I am wearing underwear!”
You: “Hmm… It must be an hour fast.”
But always remember:
Get sexual, not obscene.
You might even want to look out for opportunities to accuse her of “having a dirty mind”. Believe me… The effect can be absolutely comical.